This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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