and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
