Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
