Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
