Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
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Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
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You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
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