my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Non-Jews are for practice
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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