I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize