I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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