im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
