I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
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The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
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She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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