I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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