Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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