i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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