My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
