You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
