just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
