I like my sex mixed with concussions.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
