well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Can vaginas get frostbite?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
