why didn't you poke me back
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
