Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
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Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
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then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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