"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
