oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
