I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
