she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
