It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
