He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
