Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
