just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize