He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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