I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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