three words: i give head
three words: not that well
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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