i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
