i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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