Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize
