omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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