and i looked up. we had an audience...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
