Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
