are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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