I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
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I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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