You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
