Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
