I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
