hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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