We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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