I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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