Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
they're like a gay fantastic four
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
