we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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