Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
