my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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