Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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