oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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