I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
