In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
