He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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