her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
