I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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