I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
