Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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