Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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